Laying "Laid to Rest" to rest

Final tally:

Number of days worked (paid): 39

Number of days worked (unpaid): 4

Longest shift: 29.5 hours

Shortest shift: 6 hours (wrap day!)

Coldest temp: 40 degrees

Warmest temp: 88 degrees

Number of rainy days: All?

Props lost: Toshiba laptop, silver lamp, clock radio, Canon printer, Ryobi battery charger, 2 of Mike's prop guns (which I must replace, grr), Garmin GPS.

Worst moment: Having to fire someone

Best moment: Dangling Lena Heady by her ankles. True story. We had this rig that was faking part of a wall, as the bad guy had (as the story goes) dragger her character out of her bedroom window. Part of the scene is shot with a remarkably life-like Lena dummy; the other part with Lena herself. When it's clear she isn't going to be able to hold on to the handholds, the F/X supervisor looked at his two scrawny high-school age interns, and shook his head, then noted my own 230 lb frame. "Bentley! Get over here." So for 45 minutes I'm stadling there, thinking, over and over, "I'm holding Sarah Conner by her ankles. I'm holding Sarah Conner by her ankles. My life has really gotten weird. I once wiped fake vomit off of Rutger Hauer's crotch. I put flowers into Christopher Walken's hand. I almost threw Stephen Gagan off his own set. I rode up in an elevator with Ed Harris, my mouth agape that I towered over him. I talked football with John Voigt. I cleaned out Russell Crowe's used food bucket (don't ask). But I have to say, dangling Sarah Conner was perhaps the high point of my long and illustrious art department career.

Profanities used: Incalculable

Sunsets seen: 29

Sunrises seen: 28

Vehicles driven: Seven: My Honda, Tommy's VW, Stephen's Corolla, the hearse, Tucker's truck, the sheriff's squad car, Chromeskull's Chrysler.

Days I wanted to quit: 3

Days I realized I have the best job in the world: 43