Green logic

Let me see if I can follow Tinsley's "logic" here.

First, we have to assume that all things associated with the left are bad. Global warming? Junk science. Energy conservation? Whiney elitists in Priuses, er, Priae. Funny-looking CFLs? Well, they're not liberal per se, but they are popular with those concerned about energy efficiency, so they are fair game. How can I (Tinsley) slag them?

1. They're ugly? No, too vain.

2. You can't really put a lampshade on them if it has a bulb clamp? Too technical.

3. They might not be all that green, because they contain mercury? Way too technical. Besides, mercury contamination is funny.

4. They take a while to warm up and their color temperature is unusual? Color what? Huh? "You're a Plugger if you think a bulb with a warm color temperature is too hot to touch."

5. They are made in China? Whoa, that's dangerous ground. Remember, it is Bush policy to never do business with communist countries, as long as they are Cuba. China is our best trading partner, and owns more of the USA than any other country, so we have to build up our military to combat the threat that China could become after using the billions we send them every month to buy our weapons systems AGH TOO COMPLICATED, did I mention these bulbs were ugly? Or that Ted Kennedy once drove off a bridge?

No -- all too hard. I got it! I'll just make something up -- "They burn out more quickly." Yes, I know, it's a complete and total lie, but it's not like any fans of my strip a) cares about the truth b) would buy these bulbs anyway.